(Above The) Law Enforcement Officers
In the wake of recent events in Ferguson, Missouri and New York City, it’s clear that we have to coin a new term for our cops, as the current nomenclature we use is totally outdated. We need a name...
View ArticleWhy I Support the Right of the NYPD Back-Turners to Be Total Dicks
Several hundred NYPD officers showed their true colors at the funeral for one of their slain comrades. Officer Rafael Ramos was one of the two cops brutally murdered by Ismaaiyl Brinsley after the...
View ArticleThe Shit Sandwich That Was The Year 2014
Today is literally the last day of 2014 that there will ever be. Unless of course you believe in some kind of multiverse theory or my own personal nerd-ariffic pipe dream of time travel, that is. So...
View ArticleCops: Dylann Roof Being White and Armed ‘Key’ To Arrest, Not Summary Execution
CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA — The suspect in the gruesome, racially-motivated assault on a Charleston, South Carolina church has been apprehended. Sources close to the investigation say that 21-year-old...
View ArticleFrom the Plantation to the Penitentiary to Charleston: The Willful Ignorance...
Admittedly, I have been focusing so much of my “creative” energy on penning fake news stories, that the idea of sitting down in front of my keyboard to go old school and write a more traditional op-ed...
View ArticleCompany Develops ‘Cop-Proof’ Mask for ‘Urban’ Americans
HILLSBOROUGH, MASSACHUSETTS — A company in New England has developed a new product that they feel could help reduce the number of unarmed people of color that are killed by police officers throughout...
View ArticleLocal Bad Cop: Does Presumed Innocence Also Apply To Black Suspects?
LYNCHBERG, OHIO — Officer Robert Michaels has been a police officer in Ohio for almost a decade. Michales is known as his town’s “Bad Cop.” He’s been accused of excessive force and misconduct more...
View ArticleWhite Guy Annoyed Black Community Won’t Listen To His Advice About Problems...
HAMPSTEAD, CONNECTICUT — Matthew Palumbozo is 24, white, and extremely confident he knows how to solve every problem facing the African-American community, if only they’d listen to him. “First of all,”...
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